– YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL ONLY IF… –

Election is here again,

Gather your umbrella,

Buy new brooms,

we need to play.

I want you to know

that if you elect me

I will raise your dead grandfather.

Even if he was cremated, we will

re-assemble his bones.

If Eziekel could do, why can’t I?

 

I will build golden castles at Mokola roundabout.

Egbeda will have a bank

that will give #500,000 to all

Corps members on all clearance days.

 

I will chase MTN out of Nigeria,

Nigeria Air will fly all pregnant women

to US and Canada to be delivered of their babies.

DSTV will start airing for free.

Don’t worry about that,

we will settle that where we dine at 7 every ‘friyay’.

 

I will reward all best graduating students,

No more #250.

I will increase it to #5,000 cash as award for all First class

and a full-time job at any local government office

of your choice.

If you don’t want that,

You will have a full time polling-unit job.

Your thumbs are still active,

You could help us inflate the vote-count.

 

All fresh graduates

Will get (all) the jobs at Chevron

Only If you elect me as your (              ).

Don’t worry, I will feed all

the beggars at Iwo road and Okokomaiko bustop.

This is to show you how

much we hate hunger.

Free food, free food I say.

 

No more PHED, IBEDC,

I will donate free transformers to all homes.

Dont worry about the prepaid meter,

You can plug your freezer,AC and hotplate for 24 hours, 7 days.

Your minimum wages will be truly minimum indeed,

We will add #3,000 more.

 

When the deceiver

dines with

the deceived, we end

Up having 2 ‘spoonfool’

 

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By Badiru Kehinde

Badirukehinde@gmail.com

Facebook | Instagram | Twitter: BadiruKehinde